


The Six Drinks of Shirabu Kenjirou

by MusicPrincess655



Series: NSFW Haikyuu!! [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blowjobs, First Time, Kissing, M/M, Shirabu's shit ass emotional stability, slight B99 au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-02 22:57:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8686624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicPrincess655/pseuds/MusicPrincess655
Summary: Alternatively titled "Semi, softly but with feeling:  fuck"





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was ever so slightly short of my NaNoWriMo goal so *flings this trash away from me*  
> I blame [konokomi](http://archiveofourown.org/users/konokomi/pseuds/konokomi) it was her idea

It was a universal truth that Friday night would find the local bar filled with college students letting off the stress of the week. Eita had come to the bar with his friends, eager to forget the coding project he had due on Monday. He sat at the bar, stool twisted around so he could people-watch while he started in on his third drink of the night.

“Hey,” Taichi nudged him. “Want to watch an experiment with me?”

“What kind of experiment?” Eita asked warily. Two years of friendship had taught him to tread carefully around psychology majors and experiments.

“The Six Drinks of Shirabu Kenjirou.” Taichi said it like it was the title of a paper. “He’s already had his first, but that one’s just a warm up. Every drink is a new level of hilarity.”

“What do you mean?”

“Watch, here he goes with drink number two,” Taichi pointed as Shirabu kicked back another rum and coke.

“He doesn’t seem any different,” Eita said.

“Give it a minute to kick in,” Taichi said, eyes focused on Shirabu. “Goshiki can play the sober control subject. I should really be writing this down, actually.”

“What could you possibly use for psychology from watching Shirabu drink?” Eita asked.

“Nothing. He doesn’t believe me when I tell him what he’s like when he drinks. Now I have a witness. I’ll need you to sign my notes at the end of the night to prove they’re correct.”

“How are you two best friends? You’re awful to each other.”

“You’re dating him and you two are just as bad. You tell me.”

Eita shook his head, turning back to watching Shirabu descend on poor Tsutomu.

“So what’s drink number two, then?”

“Two drink Shirabu is a resurgence of his chuunibyou phase from middle school,” Taichi said absently – did he actually have a notebook?

Yep.

He was writing everything down.

“He was a chuuni in middle school?” Eita asked. “Baby rich boy Shirabu was a chuuni?”

“One of the most embarrassing cases I’ve ever seen,” Taichi told him. “Black nail polish, hoodie, emo poetry, the whole shebang. Remind me to show you pictures at some point. Thank god the only thing he kept from that time is his ruler bangs.”

Eita snorted, watching as Shirabu leaned back into his corner, away from Tsutomu. He really did look like if he’d had a hoodie he’d be retreating into it. It didn’t exactly fit with his lost J. Crew model look.

“I wonder how long it’ll take him to get another drink,” Kawanishi mused. “I’d tell you to give him one, but that might skew the experiment. He’ll know we’re watching.”

“I doubt he’ll notice,” Eita sighed. “Want me to go buy him a drink?”

“Be a dear?”

Eita shook his head. Was he really about to get his boyfriend drunk for science?

Yes. Yes he was.

He ordered another rum and coke, heavier on the coke since Shirabu was a baby about alcohol.

“There you go, babe,” he handed the drink off to Shirabu, dropping the term of endearment he knew would rile the other up. Shirabu just gave him a dark glare.

“Go die,” he muttered, taking the drink and leaning back, projecting an air of not wanting to be there.

Eita had to remember to get those pictures from Taichi.

“So what’s three drink Shirabu?” Eita asked, sitting back down beside Taichi.

“’Philosophically stares at his drink’ Shirabu,” Taichi answered. “You know how you always think he’s a really pretentious lit major?”

“Yeah?”

“You have seen nothing yet, my friend.”

It didn’t take long before Shirabu had straightened out of the slump he’d dropped into, sitting up almost perfectly straight and swirling the remnants of his last drink around his glass.

“What was the last book he was reading again?” Taichi asked, returning to his notes.

“Um…a translation of The Fountainhead, I think.” Eita tried to think back to the title of the frankly excessively huge book his boyfriend had been reading last.

Taichi snorted.

“Oh man. Poor Goshiki’s really in for it now.”

“Don’t you like him?”

“This is for science. He’ll survive.”

Eita had to crack a smile at the alarmed look on Tsutomu’s face when Shirabu leaned in, gesturing with his glass to make his point. He was almost worried the poor first year would make a run for it, not that he had anywhere he could go. As the only one underage and therefore, not drinking, he was the automatic designated driver. He was everyone’s ride home.

“Are you sure he’ll survive?” Eita asked as Shirabu leaned even further into Tsutomu’s space.

“He’s premed, he’ll understand doing it for the science.”

“Have I mentioned how glad I am that I think you’re on my side?”

“I’m on nobody’s side. I’m on my own side. You just happen to be useful for keeping this experiment running. Speaking of which, go buy him another drink.”

“I’m not made of money. He can buy his own damn drinks.”

“Do you want to sit here all night? He might sober up. This is the best data I’ve ever gotten for him, I’ll have blackmail material for years. Besides, four drink Shirabu is going to be your favorite.”

“What’s four drink Shirabu?”

“Giggly drunk Shirabu.”

“You’re shitting me. Shirabu Kenjirou doesn’t giggle.”

“Go buy him a drink and find out.”

While the idea of Shirabu giggling was still unbelievable to him, Eita did have to admit Taichi had gotten him curious now. Besides, it was Shirabu’s turn to buy groceries this month. He could afford a few extra drinks.

“Drink up,” Eita said, handing Shirabu another drink. Shirabu gave him a vague contemplative look, which Eita had to work not to laugh at. He just looked so pretentious, and the ruler bangs were making everything worse.

“If he actually giggles, I’ll buy him drinks for the rest of the night, no questions asked,” Eita told Taichi, sitting back down beside him.

“I hope you have enough for two more drinks for him, then,” Taichi said. “Look, there he goes.”

Sure enough, Shirabu was actually laughing, giggling into his drink. Tsutomu looked even more alarmed than he had at philosophical Shirabu.

“Careful, he gets clingy,” Taichi muttered, watching Shirabu wrap his arm around Tsutomu’s shoulders.

Eita was floored. He’d never seen his boyfriend giggle before. Laugh, yes, an ugly, snorting, heaving laugh when he was truly amused, but never these little hiccup-y giggles with the red face and the shining eyes.

“He’s actually pretty damn cute,” Eita admitted. “So, two more drinks? What’s six drink Shirabu, then?”

“No one knows, actually,” Taichi told him. “I’ve never seen six drink Shirabu. We usually drag him home after drink five.”

“Why?”

“Because…oh look, there he goes.”

Based on the number of glasses around their table, Tsutomu had probably bought Shirabu another drink himself. He’d probably noticed that Shirabu changed with each drink and had hoped to save himself from giggly Shirabu.

He’d gotten a worse fate, though.

“Oh my god,” Eita resisted the urge to rush over. “Why is he crying?”

“This is five drink Shirabu,” Taichi told him solemnly. “An actual mess. We usually drag him home now before the bartender kicks us out. Meaning, of course, that you need to get the next drink to him soon before someone asks him to leave.”

Eita was actually concerned at what six drink Shirabu would look like. So far, there had been no rhyme or reason to the phases Shirabu had gone through, and they were about to enter uncharted territory.

Still, he was pretty keen on saving Tsutomu. The poor duckling looked like he was about to start crying himself.

“Hey there, princess,” he said gently, prying Shirabu away from Tsutomu. Tsutomu shot him a grateful look.

“Your eyes…are just…so pretty,” Shirabu heaved between sobs.

“Alright. I know, babe,” Eita said soothingly, the way he might to his younger siblings. “Drink up now, yeah? You’ll feel better.”

“Will he really?” Tsutomu whispered as Shirabu sipped at his drink.

“I have no idea,” Eita whispered back. “But he probably won’t be crying anymore.”

He turned to go back to Taichi.

“Don’t leave me here!” Tsutomu hissed.

“I’ll take him home soon, just a few more minutes,” Eita promised.

Taichi was positioned with his pencil at the ready, staring Shirabu down.

“What do you think six drink Shirabu will be like?” Eita asked.

“There’s no way of telling,” Taichi said. “It could be a reprise of one of the other phases, or it could be something entirely new. We won’t know for sure until it hits him.”

“If we don’t know what we’re looking for, how will we know when…?” Eita trailed off as Shirabu stood up. With surprising steadiness for how much he’d had to drink, he walked over to where Eita and Taichi were sitting.

“You’ve been ignoring me all night,” Shirabu pouted, but it wasn’t his usual pout. There was a smirk under it. Eita had never seen that face before, but he didn’t trust it.

“I’ve been paying more attention to you than you realize,” Eita told him honestly.

“Not the right kind of attention,” Shirabu complained, dropping his arms down on Eita’s shoulders and leaning in so their foreheads touched.

“What kind of attention do you want?” Eita asked, slipping his thumbs into Shirabu’s belt loops to steady him. Shirabu leaned in for a kiss that was all heat and tongue and spit.

“The kind of attention we’d get in trouble for here,” Shirabu whispered in his ear.

“What?”

Shirabu didn’t do innuendoes. Shirabu didn’t do sex talk in general.

“I want you to take me home and fuck me,” Shirabu continued, still right next to his ear but not in as good a whisper as he probably thought he was using, based on the snort Eita heard from Taichi.

“So six drink Shirabu is sexually liberated and vaguely dominant,” Taichi said, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice. “Good to know.”

“I’m taking him home,” Eita said. “I’ll call a taxi, Tsutomu’s definitely had enough for one night.”

“He has.”

“You owe that boy dinner.”

“Go bang your own boyfriend. Let me worry about mine.”

Eita dragged Shirabu out of the bar. Shirabu could walk steadily enough, but he clung to Eita’s shoulders, making them match steps to avoid tripping. Finding a taxi was easy enough, and getting Shirabu into the back seat and the address of their apartment rattled off to the driver wasn’t any harder.

Though clingy, Shirabu remained quiet for the drive back to their apartment. Eita was grateful for this. He wasn’t sure he could deny Shirabu truly demanding something in the same voice he’d used back at the bar, and he didn’t want to scar this innocent taxi driver for life.

Shirabu had been too much of a baby to discover this before, but Eita loved being dominated and told what to do from time to time. Even after dating for months, they hadn’t had sex yet because Shirabu didn’t want to talk about it and Eita didn’t really want to go in with no communication.

Apparently six drink Shirabu was the answer to both of these problems, because the minute they walked into their apartment, he had no problem communicating what he wanted.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Shirabu was on him, attacking with a kiss that was more passion than skill, but Eita was drunk enough that he didn’t care. He struggled to kick his shoes off and walk Shirabu back to his bedroom.

“What do you want?” Eita asked between kisses. He’d never done this with Shirabu before, and he knew Shirabu was a virgin.

“I want you on your knees with your pretty mouth on my dick,” Shirabu breathed hotly in his ear. Eita froze as all the blood in his body rushed south. Shirabu frowned at him when he didn’t move. “I said…”

“I heard you,” Eita interrupted. “Just…sit down, yeah? You’re going to fall if I try this while you’re standing up.”

Shirabu was easy enough to maneuver into a sitting position at the edge of the bed. Eita knelt in front of him and undid his belt and slid his pants down his legs, leaving his boxers in place. He’d been waiting for this for a while, he didn’t want to rush in and have it end too quickly.

He pushed Shirabu’s shirt up and kissed the soft skin of his stomach, just over the band of his boxers. He could practically feel the impatience rolling off Shirabu.

“Hurry up,” Shirabu complained.

“Take your time, babe, there’s no rush,” Eita teased, kissing his stomach again. Shirabu threaded a hand through his hair and used it to pull his head back and lock their eyes.

“Eita,” Shirabu said with the same tone he’d used at the bar. “ _Now_.”

There was no way Eita was saying no to _that_.

He pulled Shirabu’s boxers down without any further ado, stroking Shirabu’s dick with one hand. He locked eyes with Shirabu as he sucked on the head. Shirabu hadn’t let go of his hair, and pulled his head down even as he jerked his hips up. Eita felt him bounce against the back of his throat and pulled off to give him a reproachful look.

Just because he didn’t have the trace of a gag reflex didn’t mean he couldn’t teach Shirabu how to be a respectful blowjob recipient.

“I’ve seen you deepthroat a banana, I know you can take that,” Shirabu said. He hadn’t lost the commanding tone of voice in the slightest, though it was a little shakier now. Eita shrugged. It wasn’t like it was going to bother him either way.

He went back down, letting Shirabu use the grip on his hair to direct his pace and thrust his hips. He could match easily enough to Shirabu’s rhythm, and Shirabu’s moans let him know he was making his boyfriend unravel.

He moaned long and low, knowing the vibrations would drive Shirabu crazy. He barely got the warning of Shirabu trying to pull his head back and stuttering his name before his boyfriend was coming down his throat.

Eita sat back, swallowing and wiping his lips. Shirabu stared down at him, mouth open and gasping and cheeks flushed red. He looked like a mess.

“Want to return the favor?” Eita asked teasingly. Shirabu bit his lip. “Don’t bother trying to suck me off, I don’t trust a drunk newbie around my dick with his teeth, anyway.”

“Die.”

Eita was about to respond when Shirabu undid the button of his jeans and pushed them to the floor with his boxers. He wrapped his fingers around Eita’s dick, more curious than anything else, stroking lightly before going on with more confidence.

Eita straddled his lap, letting his head rest on Shirabu’s shoulder as his boyfriend jerked him off, moving his hips in time with Shirabu’s hand. It wasn’t long before he was coming onto Shirabu’s stomach.

Shirabu wrinkled his nose, pulling the hem of his shirt up to keep it from getting dirty. Eita used tissues from his nightstand to wipe Shirabu’s stomach clean, turning around to get a fresh pair of boxers from his dresser. He threw a pair at Shirabu. They were clean, he would live.

He dropped onto his bed, spent. Shirabu laid down beside him, facing him. They’d already learned from watching movies together that they both ran too hot to cuddle too close. Instead, Shirabu liked to cling onto his hands while they faced each other.

Six drink Shirabu was a fun time.

***

“Eitaaaa,” a whimper woke him from sleep. Morning light was streaming into his room, and Shirabu was poking his cheek.

“What?” he asked sleepily.

“Wateeeeer,” Shirabu whined.

“Are you hung over?”

“Not so loud. Water now. Talk later.”

“Whatever you say, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna take a break and sleep. I'll start writing again when finals are over


End file.
